Billie Lourd shares grief on mom Carrie Fisher's birthday: '60 is too damn young to die'

Billie Lourd is sharing her grief over the loss of her mother, Carrie Fisher, on what would have been the "Star Wars" actor's 68th birthday.

The "Scream Queens" star, 32, reflected on the occasion in an emotional Instagram post on Monday, writing that she tries to celebrate her mom each Oct. 21, but "today I really wanted to celebrate her with her."

"Some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of her love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb but today when I woke up I just felt sad," she wrote. "My sadness bodysnatched me so I googled 'average death age woman' (ooohhh what a fun google billie!!! I promise the rest of my google search history has a sliightly more fun vibe?!) and google said it was 80.2."

"My mom died when she was 60," Lourd continued. "60 is too damn young to die. I then googled drug overdose deaths (another fun morning google!!!) and it is over 100 thousand people per year."

Fisher, best known for her role as Princess Leia in the "Star Wars" franchise, died on Dec. 27, 2016 at age 60 after suffering a medical emergency on a flight.

A toxicology report found the actress had "cocaine, methadone, ethanol and opiates" in her system when she died. In a statement at the time, Lourd said, "My mom battled drug addiction and mental illness her entire life. She ultimately died of it."

Fisher had been open about her struggles with substance abuse during her life. Lourd, the daughter of Fisher and talent agent Bryan Lourd, shared in her Instagram post Monday that she "did everything in my power to help my mom get sober but sadly my mom couldn't ever escape her addiction."

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"While she was alive she always shared the ups and downs of that struggle with others in hopes it would help them escape their own addiction," Lourd added. "As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way through. And same goes for those of us affected by that struggle. Sending my love to anyone out there who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone."

Lourd starred opposite her mom as Lieutenant Connix in 2015's "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" and 2017's "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" and reprised the role again in 2019's "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker." Outside of "Star Wars," Lourd has had roles in shows like "Scream Queens" and films like "Booksmart" and "Ticket to Paradise."

Since her mother's death, Lourd has become a mom herself, welcoming two children with husband Austen Rydell.

In December, she reflected on the seventh anniversary of her mother's death on Instagram, writing, "I miss her every day but the cliche is also true — she is with me every day — she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy. As I tell my son, she lives in the stars — and she damn sure makes my life sparkle."

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Billie Lourd shares emotional birthday tribute to mom Carrie Fisher