You're Not Going to Die Alone. It's Just Cuffing Season.
Do you feel lonely? Sad? Desperate for a nice throw blanket to compensate for the lack of body heat spooning your frigid, wintery body? Fortunately, these symptoms are not contagious or fatal. You're likely suffering because you did not get drafted for Cuffing Season.
Cuffing Season is the time of year when people couple off to combat the cold and loneliness. When parsed down, it is simply a social construct, partly manufactured from holiday stress and partly biological, that pushes single people into relationships for the winter months. Though it's not an ironclad law, there is a schedule to Cuffing Season, and it has been in the conversation in 2018 more than ever before.
Where did Cuffing Season come from?
The term "cuffing season" comes from the literal idea of being handcuffed to someone. While "cuffing season" was entered into Urban Dictionary in 2011, the term started showing up en masse in 2013. Complex came up with a whole list of songs to "cuff your girl to." Not a great headline, but times change quickly. Other sites like Hello Giggles and Huff Post covered Cuffing Season that year as well.
In the years since, one thing remains certain: Cuffing Season does not mark the start of a forever relationship. It is a means to an end. It's a meme and a curse. And it is also a sweater-loving man's dream season: When it's too cold to be out there flirting, and you need the rest.
What is the Cuffing Schedule?
Unofficially, this schedule (and variations of it) has been making its rounds on the Internet as a very firm itinerary for Cuffing Season events. Unfortunately, if you're reading this and you're single, the moment has already passed for you to be a contender in this year's Cuffing Season. Because, as you can see, we are firmly in the middle of Cuffing Season.
What this schedule roughly translates to is a four- to five-month trial relationship that scratches an itch. Flirting in the summer leads to fall dates, and then by the time the holiday season arrives, you're covered. Meaning, you're in a relationship. You've snagged a partner to get you through the cold months. But when the sun is out and you can go back to showing off that six pack (good for you, must be nice), then what? By the time you get to the "Championship Game" at Valentine's Day, you might be thinking ahead to the horny summer months. And so Cuffing Season does begin to wane in March.
Cuffing Season is a short-term solution that can turn into a long-term problem. If it inspired you to date authentically, then you've just followed the path to a six-month-plus relationship. If it didn't, and the Cuffing Season relationship you started doesn't have legs past Valentine's Day, you have human collateral damage on your hands.
Is Cuffing Season legitimate?
In NPR's 1A Podcast, Joshua Johnson spoke with social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller about the science behind Cuffing Season. Lehmiller explained that there's actual data from apps and dating sites that indicate humans really do flock together in the cooler months. But why? Part of it is biological: We produce higher levels of testosterone in the fall, which drive us to partner up, Lehmiller said. Our brains also produce lower levels of serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical that helps make us feel happy, and one solution to replacing the shortage is companionship. Thus, coupling.
Less on the biological side, a story in Psychology Today suggests that a big pull comes from business and sociological pressure. In short, Cuffing Season is a Hallmark holiday that lasts five months. The pressure that comes from family expecting you to be in a relationship, as well as the messages we receive from social media, advertisers, and television, suggest that something is off if you're not in a relationship.
But fear not: Death is not coming for your single self, even if it feels that way. Ultimately Cuffing Season is just another wave in the human psyche that someone with a handcuff fascination decided to give a fun name. And hey, missing another year of season just means that you get to singularly decide what toppings go on your pizza, and isn't that the greatest gift of all?
('You Might Also Like',)
Solve the daily Crossword
