Yes, It's Only Been 10 Years, But Half Of These Movies Already Don't Hold Up
It's been 10 years since some iconic films were released.
Warner Bros. Pictures
And I know 10 years doesn't seem like a long time, but sooo much has changed.
NBC / Via giphy.com
So let's look at some 2012 movies celebrating their 10th anniversary this year and see if they hold up.
Content warning: This post contains brief mentions of sexual assault.
1.DOESN'T HOLD UP — Ted
In the 2010s, Seth MacFarlane started making movies. Family Guy was still going strong, but MacFarlane’s frat boy brand of humor started seeping into our cinema, too, unwittingly preparing the bros for movies like Deadpool and Deadpool 2.
In his directorial debut, Ted, MacFarlane voices an anthropomorphic and perpetually horny teddy bear.
Ted is one of those characters you’d see in 2010s comedies where their defining characteristics are being drunk and horny, but for some reason everyone in the movie (and presumably the audience at the time) finds it endearing.
The movie itself is heavy on the “edgy” jokes, which in reality are just sexist and ableist.
2.HOLDS UP — 21 Jump Street
21 Jump Street is an example of a buddy comedy that doesn't need to put women down every other line in order to get laughs. It's not without its flaws, but for the most part, it manages to be genuinely funny without offending entire groups of people.
3.DOESN'T HOLD UP — Piranha 3DD
Piranha 3DD (pronounced "three double D" — it's a boob joke, get it? ??) is a horror movie about a college student who comes home to find her stepdad turning her dead mom’s water park into an adult-themed one, complete with a “cooch cam” that records naked women as they get out of the pool and projects it onto a nearby TV. Oh, and then piranhas somehow get into the water park and kill everyone.
This movie is incredibly disorienting, from the unrealistic characters to the ridiculous dialogue.
Ten minutes in, when we meet the main character’s friends, they jarringly burst onscreen spewing nonsense about virginity and boys and "popping cherries" (Alison Bechdel, help me). Everything they say sounds as if a 13-year-old boy wrote it.
After watching this, I truly wonder if the filmmakers have ever even had a conversation with a woman.
And listen, I love camp, but there's a fine line between camp and whatever this is.
4.HOLDS UP — American Mary
Horror movies can have over-the-top plots but still maintain a sense of realism. American Mary is about a med student who gets involved in performing surgeries on people who want extreme body modification. It's bonkers, but we've got solid character development and good dialogue, so it works.
And the characters actually have more than one dimension to them, so that's always a plus!
5.DOESN'T HOLD UP — That's My Boy
In That's My Boy, Adam Sandler's character, Donny, tries to reconnect with his adult son, Todd, played by Andy Samberg. Todd was conceived when his mother, an adult woman, preyed on his father, a literal child, while she was his teacher. The whole thing is played for laughs, and it's implied that it's ridiculous that this would be a crime.
There's even a scene where, after the two are caught "having sex," the auditorium full of students and faculty members cheers...for the CHILD.
You could argue that this whole thing is satirizing the attitudes toward statutory rape in instances where the predator is a woman and the victim is a boy, but should we give this Adam Sandler movie that much credit?
There's an incestuous twist at the end, so maybe not.
6.HOLDS UP — Hotel Transylvania
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg actually teamed up twice in 2012. Hotel Transylvania is a kids movie and a cartoon, but Sandler and Samberg seem to have more chemistry in this one. Plus, I'd much rather listen to Sandler's Transylvanian accent than his grating Boston one.
7.DOESN'T HOLD UP — Silver Linings Playbook
Silver Linings Playbook's two main characters struggle with mental illness throughout the film — Bradley Cooper’s character with bipolar disorder, and Jennifer Lawrence's with borderline personality disorder.
Since its release, I’ve simultaneously heard people reference this movie when talking about accurate depictions of mental illness and also inaccurate ones. And while no one can say for sure who’s right, since every person’s experiences are different, I think we can all agree that the ending is pretty unrealistic. When the two main characters get together, the movie sort of implies that their love cures both of their mental illnesses.
And while I’m not expecting a super downer of an ending, to write a whole-ass movie about mental illness and then wrap it up in a neat little bow just seems a bit off to me and could potentially send a dangerous message, like, "Don't take your meds — all you need is a boyfriend."
8.HOLDS UP — The Perks of Being a Wallflower
My teenage self related to Charlie, and my adult self still relates to him. And it's a good sign when a coming-of-age movie is relevant to people even after they become an adult.
This movie deals with trauma, abuse, and mental illness in a way that never feels exploitative. It never implies that the main character, Charlie, is cured by love, but just that in that last moment we see of him, he's alive and doing okay.
9.DOESN'T HOLD UP — American Reunion
I'm not saying American Pie (1999) is a perfect movie, but at least the boys were teenagers. In this sequel, they're 35-year-old men. And yet they're still sex-obsessed little wieners who seemingly hate their wives and girlfriends and are constantly looking for something better.
And they're literally obsessed with teen girls — like, to a gross and very concerning degree.
Anyway, it's the same old 1999 high jinks, but now it's set to Neon Trees instead of, like, Blink-182. This didn't need to be made.
10.HOLDS UP — This Is 40
This Is 40 is also a comedy about getting older and dealing with letting go of your youth, but it's completely grounded in reality. Women are actual characters in this movie, and we get an actual female perspective.
11.DOESN'T HOLD UP — Project X
I'm not sure why someone in 2012 decided that we needed a found footage teen comedy, but now we have it, and it's just as anti-gay, anti-fat, ableist, and misogynistic as you might think.
In this Hangover Jr., our main character throws an (excuse me for my extreme 2012 language here) ~epic~ house party. He destroys his parents' house and practically the whole neighborhood, but in the end, he's a hero. Even his dad is proud of him because he proved that he has friends and he's not a total loser after all. Oh, and he "gets the girl," because that's how teen movies ended 10 years ago, despite how shitty he was to her throughout the movie.
Also, let's not mistreat a dog for comedy — it's not funny and will never be funny.
12.HOLDS UP — Chronicle
Found footage definitely works for other genres, though. In this sci-fi/horror movie, three teens gain superpowers and record their experiences. Even if you're not a fan of found footage movies, Chronicle has enough going for it to keep you engaged. And it has really solid performances from Dane DeHaan and Michael B. Jordan.
Yes, the characters do dumb teenage stuff, but it fits the narrative and never feels as if there's a bunch of 40-year-old men just offscreen telling them to be as gross and offensive as possible.
13.DOESN'T HOLD UP — Savages
I'll get straight to the point here: Within the first five minutes of this movie, Blake Lively's character reveals her boyfriend's PTSD to the audience in a voiceover with the line, "I have orgasms. He has wargasms."
I've never gotten past this scene, so maybe the rest of the movie holds up, but with an opening like that, I highly doubt it.
But let me know in the comments if you've watched all of Savages. Does it hold up? Am I missing anything else on this list?
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