When Women Enforce Sexist Dress Codes at Work
She’s the boss — but does she have to be so sexist? (Photo: 20th Century Fox)
When Lisa, a New York–based editor, was starting out in her career many years ago, she got a rude awakening in the form of gender discrimination — doled out by another woman.
“I was told by my very first boss, a female, to wear lipstick,” the editor, who does not want her real name printed, tells Yahoo Beauty. “She pulled me aside after working there for a bit and said that I wore lipstick on the interview and then never again — and said, without saying it, that I should wear lipstick all the time. I didn’t mind because I was 23 and looked 15, and I was clueless and wanted to seem more professional, and it was 1998. But I cannot imagine the fallout if this happened today.”
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But apparently, it’s still happening — at least according to a striking new advice column in the Washington Post Magazine. “I am a female researcher in a fairly conservative industry. My female boss has told me I should wear makeup and high-heeled shoes when I present to clients,” began a question from a reader published on May 5 in Karla Miller’s @WorkAdvice column. “Is this illegal, since my male colleagues do not have to do so? If not, how should I raise my concerns with my boss? I was hired for my research and presentation skills, but the makeup/heels requirement makes me feel like I was hired to look pretty.”
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Miller gives a thorough response, telling her, basically, that it’s complicated and that “employers have the right to impose dress codes and set standards of formality. But a dress code can’t impose an unequal burden on workers because of their sex, faith, race or other protected status under Title VII. What’s more, the U.S. Supreme Court in 1989 interpreted Title VII to prevent ‘sex stereotyping’ after a company refused to promote a woman to partner because she didn’t act or look ‘feminine’ enough.”
(Photo: ChinaFotoPress/Getty Images)
On the other hand, Miller adds, in 2006 a federal appeals court upheld a casino dress code that required female employees to wear makeup and styled hair. “That court said dress codes can allow for ‘reasonable’ gender-based distinctions and said the plaintiff had failed to prove the makeup mandate imposed an ‘unequal burden’ on female employees,” she writes. “Thus, gendered dress codes aren’t necessarily considered discriminatory in and of themselves; such a ruling depends on the facts, the evidence and the court involved.”
In a court with a jury of our peers, at least, this kind of messaging from a female boss is insulting and scarring, no matter how long ago it was conveyed. “I had one that told me I needed to get my bangs cut because the look of them growing out was terrible — and that my pants were wrinkled, which was unacceptable,” said one respondent to our recent Facebook query on the topic. “Keep in mind that I was a mountain guide leading day hikes in the Tetons in Wyoming… It’s a shame women can’t see through the nastiness and support one another.”
Another woman, now a retail executive who identifies with a more masculine end of the gender spectrum when it comes to style, was still a salesgirl when she was told to wear “more women’s clothing — like skirts and lipstick,” she says. “I was told I would never get promoted until I did.” However, she adds, “She’s no longer with the company, and I’m the head of global visual merchandising. Last laugh: mine.”
Another woman, in the insurance field, had a similar experience. “I was told that I should start wearing makeup and get a hairstyle, and that my hippie-bohemian vibe didn’t work in the office,” she says. “This was 10 years ago. Guess who’s still here and who isn’t?”
Finally, there was this story from an L.A.-based writer wishing to remain anonymous because of the small world of her business. “When I worked at a certain magazine, my boss — let’s call her Susan — dressed to the nines: fashionable dresses, stilettos, perfectly styled hair, and loads of makeup. This had a trickle-down effect on the staff, who all looked TV-ready on a daily basis,” she tells Yahoo Beauty. “Fashion isn’t really my thing, but I tried with cute tops, skinny jeans, diamond earrings, and high heels. One day, during a positive performance review, my manager ended our meeting with a little tip: ‘Oh, one more thing: Susan likes your vintage handbag and she favors your cropped jacket over the longer one.’ I was taken aback. No, I wouldn’t win best-dressed at the office, but I absolutely looked professional. My co-worker wore a bathrobe to the office once and was praised by Susan because it was a designer brand.”
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The effects of those comments stayed with her for quite a while. “The remark made me paranoid that I was being judged for my looks, not my talent,” she says. “This began to affect my performance and confidence level, and it wasn’t long before I quit my job to work for someone who truly appreciated me.”
That’s not an uncommon reaction to female bosses who impose sexist standards on female employees, according to Connecticut-based psychologist Barbara Greenberg. “It can make [the employee] insecure and focus on the wrong thing, and her performance will probably deteriorate because in the face of anxiety, everything deteriorates,” she tells Yahoo Beauty. “It’s a good way for women to lose their sure footing.”
As for responding to a female boss who makes these requests, Miller suggests to the woman who wrote in for advice to skip the legal action for now and instead have an honest conversation — after making certain that she’s already within the bounds of what’s required in writing. Then, she says, “you can ask — as neutrally as possible — why she thinks makeup and heels are necessary for you. (I for one would love to hear how a dewy complexion, moist lips, shapely calves and uplifted buttocks are essential to your job.) Finally, you can explain that you find makeup and high heels so uncomfortable and distracting that wearing them will hinder your performance.”
Greenberg adds that, whatever the motivation is in these instances, “it’s very sexist, and it serves to disempower women.” She notes, however, that it may not be terribly surprising when you consider that 80 percent of workplace bullying is of women by women. “In the workplace, women are very hard on each other and tend to be very competitive. But women who have the power to empower other women really should take another look at these types of requests, because it’s a shame, and it really disempowers them.”
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